The Continental Classroom

Ask and ye shall receive! The powers that be at WWE have always had a knack for recognizing talent, ability and above all, mental capacity. With that said, it is no wonder they asked (actually, they begged) me, your teacher, Matt Striker, to pen a "journal of observations" during my trip to Australia.

I am seated, quite comfortably, in the state of the art first class airplane accommodations one would come to expect for a man of my intellect. I settle into my luxury seat and pretend to be asleep so no one will sit next to me. My headphones are on -- a direct violation of FAA regulations -- BUT when you are as smart as me, you ALWAYS find a way to circumvent (get around) rules and regulations. I stretch out and enjoy the subtle sounds of Simon and Garfunkel. (That's called alliteration -- when three or more words with the same first letter used in a row. See how nicely that reads?) I have with me a copy of a tax reform book by Neal Boortz, which I will finish in about 20 minutes or so. (Economics is so thrilling; I can read pages upon pages on the subject.) I have also brought along a portable DVD player and in my possession is the "Wrestling's Greatest Managers" DVD. I wonder if the tall, blond flag bearer from the Kiwi Sheepherders' days in Florida is represented? That guy was good!

I am ready.

With pad and quill in hand (a quill is an ink pen with a feather in it for those of you not "in the know") I welcome you into "The Continental Classroom." (You see, Australia is a con-tin-ent and my forum is called the classroom ...and you get the idea.)

The following is a list of things that we WILL NOT do in the classroom:

1. I refuse to answer to or refer to anyone as "mate." I am not a boating enthusiast, nor am I fan of slang.

2. I will not engage in or wish anyone a "g'day." Conjunctions (two words joined together by an apostrophe to form a single word) are for the lazy and I refuse to stoop to the level of the locals.

3. No matter how exhilarating or fascinating I find something, never once will it be described as "bonzer."

4. I will not consume anything prepared on a "barbie."

With that said, we're off to the land of Outback Jack, Superstar Bill Dundee and Bon Scott (feel free to look these names up). I have to admit: I am very excited. This will be the fourth continent I have visited in my wrestling travels. I suppose you can call me a "mental missionary," seeing as how I spread wisdom wherever I go.

While I don't share much with "normal minds," I am still human (believe it or not), and I relish in the fact that I get to live out my dream everyday! I get to see the world and experience all of its rich history, and travel with some of the greatest athletes and entertainers our sport, and the world, for that matter, has ever known!

The flight is 20 hours from our departure point, Newark International Airport in New Jersey. One does a lot of thinking when confined to a space for such a long time period. 

As I drift off to sleep, I wonder: What will the scenery and people be like? What will Australia be like? Pay attention might learn something from your teacher, Matt Striker. (BIG SMILE)

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