WWE...Wacky Weird Entertainment?
In the sports-entertainment business, the name of the game is giving the audience something they want to see. There's no better example of this than Taboo Tuesday, where the fans decide almost everything. And last year, Taboo Tuesday had some great consequences. Who can ever forget Mr. McMahon forcing Coach to wear a dress after Eric Bischoff's loss to Eugene? What about the beginning of Christy Hemme's dominance in the Lingerie Pillow Fight? Even better, all of the RAW Divas dressed up as schoolgirls? Everyone's a winner there.
So far, there are five matches set for this year's Taboo Tuesday, but the stipulations of those contests have yet to be decided. And you know what I think? I think Eric Bischoff needs to dip into his wacky side this year to give the audience something truly memorable. Ric Flair and Triple H need to settle their differences in some kind of brutal, bloody brawl, so I'll leave them out, but everyone else is fair game.
First up, it's Mick Foley vs. Carlito. Could it be a Hardcore Match? Sure, but even though he hasn't wrestled in nearly 18 months, that still slightly favors Foley. No folks, in this match, we need to find stipulations that REALLY hurt both men. What about Hair vs. Hair as an option? Can you imagine Carlito coming out on RAW on Nov. 7 without that thing he calls a hairdo? That's definitely not cool. Or here's a new one...how about the first-ever Bobbing for Apples Match? Hey, Taboo Tuesday IS the night after Halloween. You could even have Matt Striker be the guest referee/apple expert! I'm not sure exactly how you'd pull that one off, but it would sure give new meaning to Halloween Hijinx. Oh, and you're welcome for the cheap book plug there, Mick.
Next up, you've got Stone Cold vs. Coach. Now, nothing against Coach, but he's not a wrestler. He could hold his own, but this is Stone Cold Steve Austin we're talking about, so let's make it interesting. Remember the Redneck Triathlon between Austin and Eric Bischoff a couple years back? Let's make this one a Drinking Contest! On second thought, I've seen Mr. Coachman out on the town, and trust me, that stipulation definitely favors Stone Cold, if you know what I mean. Maybe there's a way there to hide Coach's inabilities in that department and play more to his athletic strength. I know, how about a rousing game of beer pong! There would still have to be a catch with that one I'm sure, but it could be quite interesting.
Last but certainly not least are the Divas, and the second coming of the Fulfill Your Fantasy Diva Battle Royal. If you read my last piece, you already know what would fulfill my fantasy...and by the way, let me give a quick thanks to my buddy Joey for the vote of confidence on that one. Anyway, this is about all of us, so back to the point. No matter what the Divas are wearing, everyone wins when they're on screen, so let's get really creative. How about a multi-Diva Lingerie Pillow Fight? Who wouldn't want to see a bunch of lovely ladies in their underwear flailing about? Or better yet, how about a Bra and Panties game of Twister? Right foot blue! You know what else would be great? Bringing back some version of the Gravy Bowl/Mud Pit/Swimming Pool Extravaganza! Hot Divas + Lingerie + Liquid substance = instant ratings, baby.
Of course, none of this is likely to happen...but when the fans are in charge, you never really know. Regardless of what happens Taboo Tuesday will be off the charts once again, so sit back, make your voice heard, and enjoy the show. As for me, well, maybe I can convince Eric Bischoff to use these ideas the next time he pulls out the trusty RAW Roulette wheel.