The Continental Classroom - Day 2
Settle down students. It is I, Matt Striker ... your teacher. Welcome to another edition of the "Continental Classroom." This installment is titled "Nefarious in Newcastle." (See, nefarious means wicked, and we are in Newcastle and blah, blah, blah.)
Today was quite a day here in Australia. The weather is similar to a crisp September day, a time I love ... the return to school, new assignments, the smell of textbooks and brown bag lunches ... not to mention playoff baseball, which in my opinion serves as a distraction to young minds!!
I had a great workout this morning, as I applied proven scientific methods to my resistance training, and well, the results are obvious. After my workout, a fan approached me and presented me with a white, cotton warm-up suit with "AUSTRALIA" written across the front. Apparently, the locals here need to be reminded of where they are from.
I always have time for WWE fans. Even though I am smarter than the average person (well, above average… OK, I am smarter than most people), I still remember where I came from, and I, too, was, is and always will be a fan of sports-entertainment. With SummerSlam and John Cena's major motion picture debut in "The Marine" coming up, there is plenty for WWE fans to look forward to, not to mention more and more of Matt Striker. (BIG SMILE)
I did some "walkabout," as the natives put it. (Now, do not confuse yourselves by thinking I have given in to slang. The term walkabout is an old English saying and technically constitutes proper English.)
The towns here have so much to offer. Actually, let's have a quiz right here, right now. Grab a pencil and blank sheet of paper.
Question 1: Which country colonized Australia?
(Theme from "Jeopardy" plays.)
Answer: Great Britain. If you look closely at the Australian flag, you will see the British "Union Jack" boldly represented.
Question 2: Which English Queen was known for her "portly stature"? (Hint: She shares a name with one of WWE's most talented and beautiful divas.)
Answer: Queen Victoria. We stopped by a statue of Queen Victoria in Hyde Park, and leave it to me to point out the Queen's obvious weight problem!
(As if England can do anything to me, anyway. Tony Blair, the English Prime Minister, is a mere puppet to the greatest leader of our time (with respect to the late Ronald Reagan), the great, insightful and diligent President George W. Bush!
Question 3: BONUS QUESTION: What extracurricular activities did your teacher, Matt Striker, excel at in high school?
Answer: Among other achievements, I rose to stardom at Bayside High School in Queens, N.Y. (Not the school from the insidious teen television program, "Saved By the Bell," which gave us harlots like Lark Voorhies, and derelicts such as Mario Lopez and "Zack Morris.") I participated in Mathletes, debate team, glee club and chess squad.
As we walked through Hyde Park, I was surprised to see two men playing chess. Of course, the move selection was all wrong, and I made it a point to "teach" them.
I'll have you know that I hold the record for going the longest amount of time without losing a piece or being checkmated by world famous chess master Garry Kasparov. (Keep in mind, I was a 9-year-old wearing a "Hangman" Bobby Jaggers T-shirt at the time.) Should I ever play him again, I would easily defeat him ... while wearing a "Yellow Rose of Texas" Eric Embry necktie.
Our day continued as we arrived at the venue (which means arena). With such a rich royal history here, I was not surprised to hear an "ALL HAIL KING BOOKER" chant ringing throughout the streets. I commend the people here for recognizing true royalty and the true greatness that is King Booker.
The Australian architecture is truly awe-inspiring. The world famous Sydney Opera House is legendary for its design -- such a fitting structure for a true music like opera. You will not see or hear the "Limp Biscuits" or the "50 cents" disgracing such a hallowed place.
Our driver continued to tell us about how beautiful the women in Newcastle are. As I looked around, the only thing as beautiful as my lovely ladyfriend at home was the sunset.
As I watched the setting sun in Australia, I gave thanks. Today is a gift -- that is why it is called the "present" -- and you are truly blessed to have someone such as me to enrich your lives.
Do not thank me; it's simply what I do. After all, I am Matt Striker and I am YOUR TEACHER!!!!