Observing St. Patty's Day, Balls Mahoney-style
Disclaimer: Only WWE fans of at least 21 years of age should follow Balls Mahoney’s recipes below.
Celebrate the luck ‘o the Irish, as Balls Mahoney offers drink recipes and tales that might make you feel, well, a little bit green. So sit back, relax and make a toast to having an extreme St. Patrick’s Day.
First thing’s first – the ECW Superstar said you must start with whiskey. While he suggests drinking Jack Daniels straight, or a Jack Daniels Boilermaker (drop a shot of whiskey in a mug of beer), Balls prefers Crown Royal whiskey.
“Take Crown Royal, a little bit of Seagram’s, a splash of Coke – that’s called a Black-Tooth Grin adventure! Then you’ll have hair on your ass,” he laughed.
Not into whiskey? Balls has another suggestion, and this one is tinted green.
“Call up the distributors in Europe and have some absinthe sent to your house and drink some absinthe. That always works better than anything. That’s what I’ll be doing on St. Patrick’s Day,” he said.
“You can’t beat absinthe – it’s green, it’s St. Patrick’s Day – you have to have something shamrock-colored.”
Looking for something a little bit sweeter?
“Take a McDonald’s Shamrock Shake and pour brandy in it, and you’ll almost have a mock-Brandy Alexander. You can use Sambuca, too,” Balls explained. “You can put Sambuca in any kind of shake for Sambuca milkshakes. Remember The Adventures of Ford Fairlane? Give me a Sambuca milkshake!”
Balls admitted he can’t seem to remember his craziest St. Patrick’s Day adventure.
“There are days I’ve woken up naked, stuff painted on me and shamrocks all over my body,” he said.
After a little prodding, Balls recalled one wild tale to tell about the holiday.
“Oh, here’s a good one… At one point I used to bounce in a bar called Bar-A – Bar Anticipation – in Belmar, N.J., and had to work one St. Patty’s Day. ECW was going on at this point,” he said.
“I actually accidentally beat up my old wrestling coach’s son-in-law without realizing it. After that, everything’s kind of a blur. Because at our place, we have a St. Patrick’s Day parade we have 200,000 people from around town, and it’s one mile long. It gets pretty hectic and crazy,” Balls explained.
Finally, the ECW Superstar made one astute comparison concerning the holiday.
“Most of the stuff that goes on St. Patrick’s Day is like Vegas – you hardly remember what happens anyway!”