Off the chain

Off the chain

The American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy (third edition) defines the term "missing link" as "a supposed animal midway in evolution between apes and humans." However, the same source also notes that this popular term is based on a misinterpretation of the theory of evolution—one that inaccurately asserts that humans, rather than sharing a common ancestor with apes (as the theory states), are actually descended from the tailless primates.

If that's the case, then both humans and apes can now breathe a sigh of relief, as neither have to admit being affiliated to's No. 8 Wildest Superstar, The Missing Link. With his face and beard painted puke-green and blue, and clumps of hair that closer resembled the shaved tufts of a deranged Chia Head, one could easily opine that this wide-eyed whacko from "Parts Unknown" was more animal than man—though that would hardly be fair to the animal.

Debuting inside a WWE ring in 1985, it was painfully apparent that The Missing Link wasn't just "disconnected" from the evolutionary chain; he was severed from it. His powerful, 260-pound frame and less-than-upright ring behavior—highlighted by a primitive offense and a coconut-strong cranium—proved wildly effective at throwing his ill-fated opponents off their game, and their vertical base. Referees and fans also cringed with every devastating noggin-knocker he delivered, as did his personal handler, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, who'd often have to beg the Link to not perform his post-match flying headbutt onto a chair.

Realizing that his stable of Superstars housed a transitional throwback whose intellect was matched only by garden tools, it's no surprise that the weaseling "Brain" would eventually trade the Link's contract to Jimmy Hart (in exchange for another "charmer"—King Kong Bundy). Yet it wasn't long before even the megaphone-wielding "Mouth of the South" became dumbstruck over the head-banging antics of the crazed Cro-Magnon. Within the space of a year, The Missing Link broke apart from the ones that kept him attached to WWE, and returned to Parts Unknown—a location that to this day best remains unknown.

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