TAMPA, Fla. — But wait, you probably thought upon reading that headline: Surely “The Kevin Owens Show” already exists. There’s a T-shirt and everything. While “The Kevin Owens Show” did indeed exist as an abstract concept, Raw General Manager Mick Foley took it to the realm of the literal by officially bestowing a talk show upon the WWE Universal Champion. It was a peace offering of sorts to Jeri-KO, who are still pretty steamed that Roman Reigns will challenge Owens at the Royal Rumble while Chris Jericho is suspended in a shark cage like a "sexy piñata."

Raw Commissioner Stephanie McMahon, fuming herself over SmackDown LIVE’s ratings win last week, took things one step further. In a bid to establish Team Red, not Blue, as the “Land of Opportunity,” Stephanie announced a United States Title Match between Reigns and Jericho, where Reigns would lose his title if he were to be disqualified or counted out. And following an argument over whether Owens or Seth Rollins should be banned from ringside for that bout, the Raw power team also sanctioned a match between the two, the loser of which would indeed be barred from the title match.

That said: Lest you think Foley was entirely in a giving mood to Owens, he did add one major caveat to the debut of “The Kevin Owens Show”: The first guest would be Goldberg.

It’s official: The latter half of Jeri-KO has been knocked out of Raw’s United States Title clash. In a bout that could have potentially ensured Chris Jericho a 2-on-1 advantage over Roman Reigns, Kevin Owens’ brash temper got the better of him and it’s Seth Rollins who will have a free pass to ringside when his former brother goes to battle. Rollins was sitting pretty in the driver’s seat, taking the fight to the timekeeper’s area when he found himself on the verge of a double count-out. The Architect sprinted back to the ring to break the count, only Owens was lying in wait with ring bell in hand. The Prizefighter’s subsequent attack of Rollins’ ribs with said bell cost him the match, but given that Rollins was too banged-up to Pedigree KO after the match, The Architect’s assistance of Reigns may well not amount to much.

However hard (and memorably) as they tried, Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson could never wrest the Raw Tag Team Titles from The New Day. But maybe, just maybe, they could have better luck with Cesaro & Sheamus, if Anderson’s victory over The King of Swing on tonight’s Raw is any indication.

First, give credit where it is due: Realizing he was never going to outmuscle a man who is not unreasonably nicknamed The Swiss Superman, Anderson instead relied upon his speed, sticking and moving on offense while trusting that he could grind out some of The King of Swing’s more powerful maneuvers. Sheamus, who initially told Cesaro he’d keep his distance at commentary, stormed to ringside when Gallows attempted to interfere. But The Suntan Biker Man tripped Cesaro off the top rope right before the Irishman struck and Anderson followed up with an airborne neckbreaker to the stunned powerhouse. As New Years go, the good brothers’ is looking too sweet thus far.

It’s a New Year, yes it is, but The New Day isn’t looking to switch up the formula that made them record-setting Tag Team Champions anytime soon. They’re certainly not looking for any new members, which is why Titus O’Neil’s offer to join ya boys was met both with laughs from the audience and fisticuffs from Xavier Woods, who took on The Big Deal after O’Neil labeled Woods’ as New Day’s “weakest link.” Though, if we’re being honest, that was some quality twerking. The joke, in this case, was on O’Neil, as Woods roared back from an early deficit and reversed his backbreaker into a sunset flip. So O’Neil is denied, and, with all three members of New Day having declared for the Royal Rumble Match, 2017 could be a very positive year indeed.

Even when faced with the thirsty savagery of would-be homewrecker Noam Dar, Cedric Alexander and Alicia Fox are still going strong kicking off 2017. But the fan-favorite couple faced a little bit of a hiccup in the ring on Raw, perhaps not coincidentally after Dar made yet another advance toward Alicia in the backstage area. While Alexander and Drew Gulak locked up in the ring, Gulak’s partner Tony Nese attempted to distract Alexander, leading to Alicia coming to her man’s defense, hauling The Premier Athlete off the apron. Gulak rolled a distracted Alexander up for the win and celebrated screaming up the ramp. So after the second consecutive involvement of Alicia, Alexander potentially heads back to the drawing board. And Dar, who’s still looking to snatch Miss Fox for himself, waits patiently to make his move.

It appears that at least one Superstar isn’t ready to supplant himself before “The King of the Cruiserweights” just yet. Despite Neville’s insistence that he is royalty among the 205 Live roster, TJ Perkins made a solid case for himself as a potential usurper by defeating The Brian Kendrick on Raw. Kendrick, who’s had Perkins’ number more or less since stripping him of the WWE Cruiserweight Title, dug into his usual reserves of veteran savvy, but Perkins was ready for his former mentor this time around. So when Kendrick found himself in position for Sliced Bread No. 2, Perkins quickly flipped an airborne Kendrick onto his shoulders for a detonation kick and transitioned seamlessly into the Kneebar to notch the submission.

2017, it seems, is not short on irony. After pretending to be wheelchair-bound on the last Raw of the previous year, Enzo Amore started off this year with a certified and bonafide leg injury, leaving Big Cass to go it alone against Rusev & Jinder Mahal. And while you may be unable to teach Big Cass’ 7-foot height, Don Parmesan was outclassed in the numbers game by The Bulgarian Brute and especially Mahal, who distracted Cass first by slapping Enzo around, and then a second time by climbing up on the apron right as Cass moved to finish off a reeling Rusev. The Super Athlete took advantage of his partner’s interference by blasting Cass with a thrust kick to the jaw, and it was 1-2-3 from there.