If those pit stains in your Damien Sandow T-shirt didn’t already tip you off, it’s summertime! For most of the guys in the WWEClassics.com office, that means walking around with a waterpark in your underpants in search of an air-conditioned room. For WWE’s Superstars and Divas, though, it’s just another excuse to show off their unbelievable bodies.
Yep, the folks in the locker room are definitely at the top of the evolutionary chart when it comes to finely crafted physiques … but who stands at the top of the top? Our votes go to these 25 individuals (all right, we may have snuck a set of twins in there) who can’t run on the beach without hearing the “Baywatch” theme playing in their heads. We could look like this too, you know. We just choose not to.
One hundred million Americans can’t be wrong. That was the viewing audience that routinely witnessed the stunning Candice Michelle in a series of popular — and controversial — Super Bowl spots. A beauty from head to toe, the brunette stunned the WWE Universe from her first appearance in the 2004 WWE Diva Search. Candice was no slouch in the ring, either. An extremely quick learner, the Diva rapidly improved as a wrestler, becoming a threat in the Divas division. With her trademark magic wand in hand, the lovely Candice put a spell on the WWE Universe and her opponents, capturing the Women’s Championship in 2007.
Maybe Van Halen was onto something. In the years before she emerged as the most callous Divas Champion the division had ever witnessed, Michelle McCool was a schoolteacher. Condolences to those students who failed to get a proper education as they were endlessly distracted by the 5-foot-10 Florida stunner with a body like a beach volleyball pro. McCool went on to enrage audiences alongside her bestie Layla as the wickedly shallow Team Lay-Cool, but being bad never looked so good.
Alongside brothers David and Kevin, Kerry Von Erich became a sensation in his native Texas as the handsome, perfectly constructed all-American star of his father’s World Class Championship Wrestling. Built like a Greek sculpture in an era before chiseled Superstars were the norm, Kerry was such a gifted discus thrower that he could have been an Olympian. Von Erich brought that track-and-field conditioning to the ring when he made the transition in the late 1970s. The physique worked overtime as The Texas Tornado was so desired in his prime that he would be clawed halfway down the aisle by girls desperately attempting to kiss him.
We probably wouldn’t be having this discussion if it weren’t for Sunny. The blonde bombshell exploded in popularity in the mid-90s, thanks to scintillating photos that showed off her bodacious bod. Sunny’s sweltering bikini shoots dropped the collective jaw of the WWE Universe, who signed up for America Online in record numbers to download the steamy snapshots. It was unlike anything done by any Diva in the past. The beauty set the tone for what WWE Divas would have to become to be successful in the future: smart, sexy and powerful.
The nickname “The Total Package” abruptly summed up everything Lex Luger had to offer. Six-foot-four, 275 pounds with a legitimate pro football background and the best physique below the Mason-Dixon Line, Luger became the South’s answer to northern heavies like Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior when he emerged as a top WCW star in the ’80s. So forgive Lex if he turned up in WWE in 1993 with an ego so vast that he dubbed himself The Narcissist and lugged a mirror to the ring just so he could watch himself flex. Anyone with deltoids like that would probably do the same.
In 2006, a former Miami Heat dancer named Layla entered the 2006 WWE Diva Search with aspirations to compete inside the squared circle. After winning the competition, the London-born beauty made her first appearance at that year’s SummerSlam. A short time later, she moved to ECW and used the skills honed with the NBA dance troupe to wow the WWE Universe as part of the Extreme Exposé.Her eventual alliance with another gorgeous Diva — blonde bombshell Michelle McCool — aided Layla in her quest to become a champion. Although a knee injury kept her sidelined for nearly a year, the flirty and energetic Diva returned in 2012 to win the Divas Title.
At some point in-between earning a law degree from Harvard University and costarring with Halle Berry in the hit movie “The Call,” David Otunga found the time to turn himself into the world’s most ripped Ivy Leaguer. How did the former WWE Tag Team Champion do it? Otunga works out every day (twice on Sundays) and follows a chest and back-heavy regiment along with a steady diet that requires lots of hydration and a secret weapon in coffee. He may usually be clad in sweater vests, but Otunga’s muscles cannot be contained by polyester and cotton. No wonder the dude ended up in the November 2012 issue of Muscle & Fitness.
Lita never fit the mold of the typical WWE bombshell, but the former Women’s Champion certainly had a body worth showing off. Known for wearing punk-rock gear like baggy pants and fishnet sleeves, Lita surprised the WWE Universe when she joined more prototypical beauties like Trish Stratus for the WWE’s annual summer bikini photoshoots. WWE fans were even more surprised when Lita beat out the other Divas for the cover of one of the magazines. She redefined beauty for an entire generation, showing that women with tattoos can fit right in with supermodels.
The Game has never been prone to vanity. Yes, he’s ripped, but he seems like the type to lock himself in a dingy gym with heavy metal blasting instead of heading out to Muscle Beach for a public workout. That’s a shame, because Triple H has one of the best physiques in wrestling history. Taking a little bit of inspiration from the bodybuilding world and a lot from athletic training guru Joe DeFranco, The King of Kings has carved out a body that most meatheads aspire to match.
This fiery redhead burst on the scene during the 2004 Diva Search. Quickly earning the adulation of the WWE Universe with a spunky personality that went well with her beautiful body, Christy surprised no one when she won the competition. Although she never captured the Women’s Championship, Hemme certainly earned her place among WWE’s most beautiful women every summer. The drop-dead gorgeous redhead graced the cover of several WWE swimsuit issues that newsstands couldn’t keep in stock.
It’s possible Batista was too big — not many dudes can play supervillains in movies with minimal alterations to their physical appearance — but damned if this 6-foot-6, near-300 pound behemoth didn’t have the most enviably stacked physique around. Emerging as a WWE star in 2005 after a 2002 debut, the big man was built like The Thing from Fantastic Four, but dressed with the flair of a hip hop impresario. Therein lay Batista’s appeal. Where other big men draped themselves in dopey B.U.M. Equipment sweatshirts, The Animal styled like a star and presented his body as what it was — the peak of human evolution.
As misguided as late ’90s WCW could often be, the doomed promotion did bring us Torrie Wilson, so it couldn’t have been all bad. Fresh off being crowned 1998’s Miss Galaxy (which means there are women on Mars who couldn’t contend with her physique), Torrie instantly had tongues wagging at her impossibly defined frame when she arrived in Atlanta as an nWo seductress. Becoming a magazine mainstay after moving to WWE in 2001, Wilson covered FHM and did a turn on the NBC reality show, “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me out of Here!”
It was hard to picture Ultimate Warrior — that force of nature who conversed with the heavens and ran down the aisle like a man on fire — as a member of a Crunch Fitness. His was not a body carved by nautilus machines and free weights. Rather, he was hardened by his physical environment, grown big by dragging the carcasses of wooly mammoths up mountainsides and lean by outrunning saber-toothed tigers in the jungles of Parts Unknown. As a kid, you believed that this man was built for survival, born out of flame like a Viking’s broadsword. And that’s why you painted your face, tied shoelaces around your spaghetti biceps and flexed in the mirror at the Warrior staring back at you.
Is it strange that Eve became even more attractive when she went wicked? The lovely Ms. Torres had been as desired as ice cream on an August day since she won WWE’s 2007 Diva Search, but it wasn’t until she spurned Zack Ryder’s advances and fell into John Cena’s hulking arms that Eve became the go-to Diva for our desktop wallpaper. The taut stomach and endless legs had long made her a figure worth remembering, but it wasn’t until she swapped out her sparkly shorts for a button-down business suit and “Devil Wears Prada” eyewear that she became a Diva that was impossible to forget.
If you follow The Rock on Twitter, you know his herculean physique (and we mean that literally; the guy is actually playing Hercules in a movie) didn’t come easily. Whether he’s in Budapest or Miami, the former WWE Champion is routinely up at 4 a.m., clanging and banging in the gym with only a pair of oversized Beats by Dre headphones to keep him motivated. Outside the weight room, choking down The Rock’s daily calorie intake seems like a workout in its own right. A recent Tweet revealed a meal plan packed with enough protein to feed an elementary school lunchroom. Smell what The Rock is cookin’?
Have you been filled with unspeakable ennui since September 2012? Chalk it up to the sudden WWE departure of Kelly Kelly — that stunning 20-something blonde with a face like the prettiest girl on the cheerleading team and a body like the baddest chick in Maxim. First tearing up our hearts on ECW on Syfy in 2006 where she routinely stepped out in barely there (and sometimes not there at all) outfits, the Diva so nice they named her twice was the face of the Divas division by the time her six-year run was up. Actually, make that body of the Divas division. No wonder we haven’t gotten over her exit.
Is Randy Orton the perfect pro wrestling specimen? It’d be hard to argue against the 6-foot-5, 235 pound third-generation Superstar who debuted at the disarmingly young age of 22 as the most promising prospect the medium had ever witnessed. Blessed with the impossible height and enviable muscle tone that had long been requisite for top talent, Orton was a star from the beginning, because he couldn’t be anything else. Others may have cursed the ease with which The Viper achieved greatness, but, to paraphrase his onetime motto, some of us are just born better.
They didn’t call John Morrison The Shaman of Sexy for nothing. With the kind of spectacular six-pack most guys spend years trying to sculpt, JoMo’s jaw dropping athleticism was often ignored by the women who were too busy focusing on his midsection. Whether he was doing a little yoga at sunrise or catching the waves on a sweltering afternoon, the psychedelic Superstar was used to having a few extra pairs of eyes on him whenever he popped his shirt off.
This French-Canadian beauty turned heads wherever she went. The blonde bombshell first made a huge impression on the WWE Universe in swimsuit competitions on SmackDown. Showing off her beach-ready bod had fans and Superstars alike drooling over Maryse. Guys like Ted DiBiase were willing to look past her snobbish attitude just to be seen next to a true beauty. And Maryse knew exactly the kind of power she held, using it to catapult herself to the top of WWE’s Divas division.
Rick Rude had one of the most ideal bodies in WWE history. With his bulging biceps, powerful pecs and a stomach you could grate cheese on, Rude inspired flashbulbs to light up as women jostled to get a clear snapshot whenever his picture-perfect body hit the ring. The Ravishing One loved to show off his physique, but when he hit the beach to train for his WWE Title Match at SummerSlam 1990, he was wearing a sweatsuit, crushing the dreams of many female fans.
Their bad attitudes and televised slander have pushed it to the point that we’re almost sick of staring at The Bella Twins. Almost. Luckily for the most perfect pair in the history of mankind, it’s agonizingly tough to get fed up with not one, but two gorgeous identical twins. Where to begin? Let’s start with Nikki. Or is it Brie? Whichever one rocked a silver bikini on that episode of Raw that the guys from “Hot Tub Time Machine” hosted when — just for a split second — every man wished he was Rob Corddry. That was Nikki, right? Ah, who cares? They’re both stunning.
Let’s face facts, looking good in trunks is like the eighth best thing Dolph Ziggler does. Just ask him. The Showoff looks as impressive on the beach as he does in the squared circle. With bleach blond hair and washboard abs, Ziggler is the spitting image of one of those guys that kicked sand in some 97-pound weakling’s face and stole his girlfriend in a 1950s comic book ad. That type of attitude — along with a body chiseled out of stone — has every woman on the beach fawning when Dolph Ziggler sets foot on the sand.
It’s no surprise that the lovely Stacy Keibler would make this list. With a pair of legs that have become a national treasure since she first strutted onto WCW’s Nitro in 1999, Keibler’s stems have carried her to a third place finish on the reality smash “Dancing with the Stars” and onto the cover of magazines like Maxim and Shape. Keibler has kept her lean physique on display through appearances on shows like “Chuck” and “Psych,” but the big buzz recently has been around her split with Hollywood star George Clooney, who will definitely sour at having to watch those legs walk away.
Back before he was the biggest Superstar of his generation, John Cena went by “The Prototype.” It was a fitting moniker for a guy who — with his exaggerated biceps, skyscraper traps and cable tight abs — looked like he’d been sketched by a comic-book artist who just sucked down his third 5-hour Energy. The Cenation leader’s bodybuilder physique gave way to a more utilitarian armor better suited for absorbing the rigors of the ring as he matured into an 11-time WWE Champion. However, the ladies of the WWE Universe never stopped screeching whenever The Champ yanked his shirt off.
On the March 19, 2000, episode of Sunday Night Heat, a debuting Trish Stratus strutted onto the entrance ramp with the confidence of a woman who had spent years refining her body to the point of human perfection. The seven Women’s Title reigns and WWE Hall of Fame induction that followed were the result of what the determined Canadian had been willing to put her body through, but what matters here is that physique in its natural state. The tautness of her stomach, the curve of her hips, everything else we can’t talk about in mixed company, that’s what made Trish the finest Diva the WWE Universe had ever eyeballed. That she was so much more than a body was just a lucky bonus.