Hello my students! It is I, Matt Striker, your teacher. And I am here in ECW to help you. All of you should be looking up to someone such as myself. I am a bonafide school teacher; you should be cheering me.

But instead, you ignorantly cheer for pariahs. You cheer for The Sandman, a man who irresponsibly consumes excessive amounts of alcohol. The Sandman is always ossified from his giggle water. That's right, I said ossified. In fact, ossified is your latest word of the week:

Ossified (os-uh-fahyd) - adjective.
1. Hardened like or into bone
2. Slang - Drunk

Now, normally a learned man of my intellect would use the word referring to its proper definition. However, I understand that you may need some extra help, so as much as it pains me, I've tried to use some of the slang vernacular you people are so reliant on.

Class is dismissed for now my students, but remember to check back every Wednesday following ECW on Sci Fi for a new lesson from me...Matt Striker, your teacher.