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One wild night
MINNEAPOLIS -- They say it is bad luck for a groom to see his bride-to-be the night before their wedding, and when it comes to the bachelor and bachelorette parties beforehand, it's usually a good idea to keep that same separation. On SmackDown, however, Theodore Long & Kristal found out what happens when those two parties convene: An even bigger bash!
With Long & Kristal's wedding only one week away, best man Ron Simmons and maid of honor Vickie Guerrero decided to honor the nearly-weds with a bachelor and bachelorette party, respectively. Little did the bride-and-groom-to-be -- or Simmons and Vickie, for that matter -- know that the parties would end up with everyone dancing in the hallways of the Target Center.
The festivities got well underway when Long found out that Simmons had left SmackDown newcomers Jesse & Festus in charge of the entertainment. Luckily for Long, Festus' face truly is that of a ladies' man, as nearly a dozen beauties filed into the General Manager's office. Of course, those ladies were closely followed by the rest of the groom's wedding party -- Long's son Antoine and former protégé Butch Reed -- as well as several invited guests, including the Major Brothers, Sgt. Slaughter, multiple WWE.com staffers and others. And although the expression on Festus' face never changed, needless to say, he looked like he was having as good a time as everyone else.
Meanwhile, with Kristal stressing out over last-minute details, Vickie Guerrero had to trick the bride into going to her own party. Kristal thought she was going to look at Vickie's maid of honor dress; instead, she walked into a room filled with fellow Divas Mickie James, Extreme Expose, and bridesmaids Torrie Wilson and Michelle McCool. To top it all off, the Divas gave Kristal a special bachelorette party ensemble: Some frilly lingerie…in wedding white, of course.
That wasn't the only surprise for the blushing bride, as the Divas hired some entertainment as well. A large package was wheeled into the room had Kristal wondering what could be inside. Just then, Big Dick Johnson popped out -- almost literally, as his bulbous body was covered by only the skimpiest of thongs. But as he began to get funky with the bridal party, the world's largest Chippendales reject proved what many have surmised in the past: That the ladies love Johnson.
While the Superstars, wedding party members and WWE.com staffers in attendance are still hesitant to share any extra-juicy details with non-partygoers, our fans nearly got to see a tenuous moment when Teddy and Kristal happened upon each other in the hallway. As Long -- clad in nothing but his tie and boxer shorts -- went to look for Ron Simmons, he came upon his future wife, who was still in her frilly lingerie. As each of them tried to explain their situation, the remainder of both parties spilled into the hallway, and an awkward silence broke out.
Who better to describe the situation than the best man, who only needed one word to sum up the scenario: "DAMN!" With that, the bachelor and bachelorette parties took a cue from Big Dick, dancing up a storm in the arena hallways.
With their last wild night now behind them, Long & Kristal have less than a week before their big day arrives on Sept. 21. If you can't be in Atlanta to see the nuptials yourself, you'll certainly want to tune into The CW Network Friday at 8/7 CT to be a part of SmackDown's momentous season premiere…and a wedding to remember.
You'll laugh, you'll cheer, you'll cry…and if you're lucky, you too might get to dance with Big Dick.