Get a Grip

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August 17, 2007

From the Cobra Clutch to the Tongan Death Grip, WWE has seen its share of painfully effective and near-paralyzing holds. None, however, have the potential for as much serious damage as the latest weapon in The Great Khali's arsenal, the Khali Vise Grip. In the hands -- literally -- of the largest World Heavyweight Champion in history, the Khali Vise Grip is arguably the most threatening hold in all of sports-entertainment.
 
Since becoming champion, Khali has placed a firm clutch around the SmackDown brand -- an image that has now become frighteningly more real. At more than 16 centimeters, the World Heavyweight Champion bears hands that are just about as wide as the average human skull. Two weeks ago on SmackDown, he demonstrated precisely that on his Vise-Gripped victim, Ric Flair. The champion locked his gargantuan paw around the cranium of the "Nature Boy," engulfing his entire head. Easily snaring the legend within his powerful grip, then leaving Flair writhing in agony, The Great Khali instantly became that much more dominant.
 
The Great Khali made an even louder statement after duplicating the assault on Flair this past Friday, by clinching his 325-pound SummerSlam opponent, Batista, within the Vise Grip and squeezing the life from the former World Heavyweight Champion. Crushing The Animal's cranium, the 7-foot-3 monster laid out the man he will meet in less than two weeks in East Rutherford, N.J. -- a task very few men have been capable of doing, and none with a single hand.
 
WWE.com warily gained a closer look at Khali's massive palm and each of the extending fingers that wield the capacity to crush anything it touches.

With his digits completely spread (from pinky tip to thumb tip), Khali's hand has an unparalleled wingspan of 12 inches. At a full foot, this width is larger than the length of a standard NFL football, and roughly three times bigger than the average human hand. The goliath's longest finger -- the middle finger -- is an astounding half-foot from tip to knuckle. Ordinary objects like cell phones and water bottles are literally dwarfed in the midst of his basin-like palm.
 
Up close, it is startling to conceive of Khali's whole hand encompassing your head, your brain susceptible to the lethal squeeze of a real life giant. At the champion's mere thought, he can reach down unto his much shorter prey and swathe his fingers around one's skull, then apply enough force that could pop the highly pressurized tire of a tractor trailer.
 
Effecting both the frontal lobe and temporal lobes of the human brain, Khali's Vise Grip causes instant impairment to the equilibrium and coordination of its victims. With the application of such inconceivable pressure upon one's temples and skull, the expected result entails excruciating pain, cerebral distress and, most alarmingly, temporary paralysis. It's no surprise that neither a 16-time World Champion like Flair nor The Animal could overcome the overwhelming grip of the Punjabi Superstar.
 
In fact, speculation in the WWE locker room is that no man can overcome Khali's new weapon. Batista is a unique human specimen in his own right, but can even he endure such a damaging hold? There's no question that the No. 1 contender to Khali's World Heavyweight Title is not only seeking the gold, but now also retribution for the Punjabi behemoth's assault on himself and his mentor, Flair. If The Great Khali intended on sending an emphatic message to his SummerSlam challenger, then expect The Animal to respond.
 
Will the Big Red Machine be the next Superstar to fall victim to Khali's new weapon of mass destruction, as Kane does battle with the World Heavyweight Champion in a WrestleMania 23 rematch tonight on SmackDown? More importantly, with The Great Khali in action, will Batista wait until the Biggest Party of the Summer to retaliate against the giant? Should The Animal respond to last week's events, would such a response result in Batista coming head-on with Khali's Vise Grip for a second time? Tune in tonight at 8/7 CT, on The CW Network, to find out.

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