Why the WWE Universe needs "Stone Cold" now to stop General Manager John Laurinaitis

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May 31, 2012

The one thing that Austin does best is drive authority figures mad. From the time he first gave Mr. McMahon the "Stone Cold" Stunner on Raw (WATCH) in 1997 to humiliating then-GM Eric Bischoff at No Way Out in 2003, The Texas Rattlesnake's resume is jam-packed with subversive incidents that would give Big Johnny nightmares just thinking of the possibilities. Try to picture Laurinaitis sputtering away in his scooter with "Stone Cold" hot on his trail in his trademark ATV.

It wasn't too long ago that the WWE Universe clamored for the demise of another General Manager, albeit one whose face was never revealed. Week after week, the chime of the anonymous GM's laptop was met with groans from an audience that dreaded Michael Cole uttering the phrase "I have just received an email from the anonymous Raw General Manager." When Austin served as the special guest Raw GM on June 13, 2011, he wound up dousing the anonymous GM's laptop with beer and rode over it repeatedly with his ATV (WATCH).

Both Cena and WWE Champion CM Punk have threatened Laurinaitis' rule, but no one has truly been able to shatter his resolve. And every time someone gets close enough, Big Johnny has found a way to wriggle out of trouble, even if it means allowing behemoths like Brock Lesnar and Big Show to go on a rampage in WWE. Austin's take-no-prisoners approach could be exactly what's required to hold the monsters at bay. After all, the former Raw “sheriff” remarkably escaped Big Show's attack when The World's Largest Athlete debuted in WWE at St. Valentine's Day Massacre in 1999 (WATCH), and "Stone Cold" also gave Brock a farewell Stunner after his match with Goldberg while serving as a special guest referee at WrestleMania XX (WATCH).

If a new figurehead of Raw and SmackDown is needed to replace Laurinaitis, "Stone Cold" has proven he can fill those boots, too. He's been a no-nonsense boss before, taking on a variety of administrative roles from General Manager to the CEO of WWE. Any Superstar who runs amok on The Texas Rattlesnake's watch would surely regret it.

Admittedly, all of this adds up to wishful thinking. Laurinaitis has survived the worst and is fully intent on staying in power for many, many years to come. But the WWE Universe has made their opinions known loud and clear. Now, it's a matter of who will ultimately step up to answer their call.

In the meantime, keep dreaming of the sound of breaking glass.

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