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The Manny Diaries
CLEVELAND -- As babysitting assignments go, this one was a doozy. On Monday night, Raw General Manager William Regal did his best Mary Poppins impersonation when he was forced to play male nanny, or "manny," to Hornswoggle.
Shortly after greeting Mr. McMahon at the Quicken Loans Arena, Regal was asked by the Chairman to watch over his son, Hornswoggle, for the entire night. It was undoubtedly not the warm welcome back the Englishman had hoped for. Regal was returning to Raw after nearly four weeks of recuperation from injuries he suffered at the hands of an enraged WWE Champion John Cena, who unloaded on the GM after he announced that Cena would face his rival Randy Orton at Unforgiven.
The returning GM probably wished he had nursed his wounds a bit longer. For Regal, keeping track of Hornswoggle was like trying to capture Irish whiskey in a net.
The English manny-for-a-night found himself scouring the locker room for any trace of his wayward charge. Unfortunately for Regal, he needed only to follow the smell of mischief.
During a bout between Mickie James and Melina, Hornswoggle holed up under the ring and waited. At just the right moment, the lusty leprechaun popped out and distracted Melina, causing her to lose the match. The incensed Diva dashed under the ring after him, but what happened next is anybody's guess.
Hornswoggle emerged waving Melina's outfit like a victory flag for all the world to see. The mortified Diva could only manage to poke her head out from under the ring apron and scowl at her tormentor.
When Regal did catch up with Hornswoggle, he gave him a stern tongue-lashing.
"I've been looking all over for you!" the GM reprimanded, clutching Melina's outfit in one hand. "Who taught you to act like that? Your mother?"
"No," a voice interrupted, "I did." None other than Steve-O of Jackass fame sidled up alongside the two. He told Regal that his new show, Dr. Steve-O, was designed to turn wussies into real men, but that he couldn't help the Englishman, who was still holding onto Melina's clothes, since he was obviously a cross dresser.
The comment punctuated a night of humiliation and mayhem for Regal as his babysitting duties drew to a close. Whether Mr. McMahon will call on his GM to be a manny in the future remains to be seen. But if the Englishman is put in charge of Hornswoggle again, WWE.com has two words for him: leprechaun leash.