J.R.'s RAW Superstar of the Week - Edge
This week's coveted RAW Superstar of the week, who someday may actually get a tangible prize instead of merely the praise and exaltation from yours truly, is not John Cena, who came close, but the WWE Champion Edge. More on Edge and Lita after these semi coherent thoughts and opinions…
The McMahon men folk utilizing the fact that we were in Memphis and opening the show with the Elvis costumes was a nice touch, but they looked more like Andy Kaufman's alter ego "Tony Clifton" than Elvis Aaron Presley. Some day some enterprising young creative type may come up with a Broadway musical about the whacky McMahon family and their antics, many of which have been well-documented. Finlay's Little Bastard from SmackDown would be perfect in the role of Bob Costas if the play reenacted the Mr. McMahon/Costas interview from HBO years ago.
The 1999 survey that seemed to play one thousand times Monday on Headline News and was an AP story about kids who watch wrestling being prone to more violence on their dates, etc will get little space here this week because it is my personal opinion it is a waste of such. It is genetically possible that some precious little bundles of joy simply have a screw loose and need professional help from day one, but largely we are all products of our "raising". Good parenting skills scare me with future generations of kids who live in the age of entitlement becoming parents themselves. We shall now move on.
It certainly feels like we have an inordinate amount of No. 1 contender matches for the Intercontinental Championship on Monday Night Raw. It felt like a scene from the movie "Groundhog Day" and I kept waiting for Bill Murray to show up. Did Kane and Shelton have a plane to catch or does the old cliché that they don't work by the hour apply here? Does this mean we are going to see Kane vs. Nitro at Summerslam for the IC Championship? If I were Benjamin, I might stop asking Jonathan Coachman for any more favors after the budding College Sports TV star's selection of Kane as Shelton's opponent Monday night.
I was impressed with the efforts of Big Vis Monday night in a losing cause to John Cena. Just my two cents, but I think Vis is underrated, but it will always be a challenge to be taken as a serious challenger to anyone as long as he insists on wrestling in his P.J.'s. Vis's attire Monday night looked like the world's largest pair of L.A. Laker warm-ups.
Cena, the former center along the offensive line on the Springfield, Mass. College football team, is just a little freaky strong. The FU on Vis was impressive unless you are like some who contribute regularly to some wrestling internet sites and seemingly like nothing but the opportunity to bitch.
What's next for DX next week in Charlottesville, Va., where Monday Night Raw will be originating from for the first time? A cavity search by Siegfried and Roy look-alikes orchestrated by the McMahons? I think DX is getting the strong hint that when one family owns the entire shooting match, that family can treat whomever they like any way they choose. Damn, I just used a plethora of pronouns. My bad. The McMahons actually did not appear to be overly P.O.'ed to me Monday night, so what happens when they REALLY get pissed? Again, we might find that out Monday night.
Funny. After Trish aggressively kissed Carlito smack dab in the mouth Monday night, it seemed as if Carlito was in shock. Either Trish had never kissed Carlito in such a manner before or speculation that the two talented RAW Superstars being an item might have been premature.
First of all, I am very excited about the "I Quit" Match between Ric Flair and Mick Foley that will apparently be presented now at Summerslam in Boston on Sunday, Aug. 20. This match between two legends, two veterans, who are both motivated by their own legacies and the almighty dollar, may steal the entire "Biggest Party of the Summer". Even though I have loved to listen to the verbal jousting of these two spectacular orators, the past few weeks I felt like Monday night we were witness to the "Never Ending Story". I guess I got so wrapped up in what was being said that I was wanting to see some physicality between these two future WWE Hall of Famers. I actually called the play-by-play for the Flair vs. Terry Funk "I Quit" Match in 1989 with the late, great Dean of Wrestling Broadcasters Gordon Solie, and that experience is one of my fondest memories in this business. This match was "hardcore" before anyone invented the term and long before ECW, which I watch religiously every Tuesday night, was ever an entity - even before rude, tasteless chants made their way onto TV.
I was expecting so much more out of the Orton-Lawler match Monday night, but Orton's low blow sort of ended the party prematurely. I hate it when that happens. The hometown crowd had primed the pump and was pulling for the upset and a Lawler victory, but I don't know if it would have been a huge surprise as The King has defeated a Hall of Fame list of wrestlers by hook or crook over the years in Memphis.
I was glad to hear Hulk Hogan will be able to make it to SummerSlam. A veteran wrestler, north of five-oh, even the immortal Hulk Hogan can only do so much on one leg. You know what is said about one-legged men in ass-kicking contests. This might be the Summerslam that Orton breaks Hogan's undefeated string of Summerslam wins IF the match even takes place.
With plenty of allies and backup, Umaga continued to remain undefeated Monday night with a victory over Triple H. That means that in the past month Umaga has defeated John Cena (thanks to Edge), HBK (Thanks to the McMahons) and Triple H (ditto the McMahons). It obviously pays to have friends in high places, not that Umaga would have needed help to beat any of the aforementioned, three talented wrestlers.
One has to wonder what obstacles the McMahons will put in front of DX this Monday in Charlottesville just six days before Summerslam. I have a feeling it won't be Diva contestant musical chairs or the dreaded Diva obstacle course.
This brings us to Edge. The reigning WWE Champion, who defends the WWE Championship at Summerslam, has plenty of obstacles awaiting him. Toronto's own seems to have a slim chance in leaving Boston with WWE gold. Not only can John Cena sleep in his own bed the night before Summerslam (but not with Lita unless things on the road are REALLY crazy) as Cena lives a stone's throw from Beantown, but also, if Edge gets disqualified, Edge loses the WWE Championship. Who in upper management did Edge P.O.? Something feels a little suspect here as in "fishy". Could Cena be walking into a trap? Is Edge trying to attain martyr status? Will Cena have a true home field advantage, or is Edge trying to get the anti "Cena-ites" to rebel even louder at Cena and provide Edge the emotional lift he needs to leave Boston with the gold? There just seems to be more to this story than meets the eye. Perhaps Edge will expose another card this Monday night on RAW. Edge's saucer-sized eyes seem to be more disturbed each week that we see him on Monday night.
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