Not Cool

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July 25, 2005

RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff has made it quite clear that he is not happy that John Cena is representing him and his show as WWE Champion. In an attempt to change this, it appears as though Bischoff has devised a plan to dethrone Cena as champion, and he said that Monday Night RAW would be the beginning of the end for the Dr. of Thuganomics. As RAW went off the air, everyone at the Gund Arena in Cleveland and all the viewers at home were likely thinking that might be true.

Bischoff put Cena in a match against Intercontinental Champion Carlito, but there were a couple of stipulations. If Carlito were to win the non-title match, then he would get a shot at the WWE Championship next week on RAW. Furthermore, Cena's SummerSlam opponent Chris Jericho was named the special guest referee. Cena had the odds stacked against him last week in a Lumber Jack, but he still prevailed. Could he defy the odds once again?

Although he had called the action down the middle for much of the match, Jericho eventually nailed Cena with a low blow and followed it up with a Bulldog before hitting the Lion Sault. With Cena laid out, the pin for Carlito was academic. Carlito, Bischoff and Jericho celebrated outside the ring as Cena looked on in disgust and agony. Will Cena be able to bounce back next week, or will Carlito be the new WWE Champion and face Y2J at SummerSlam?

Earlier in the evening, everything was going great for Cena. Along with Bumpy Knuckles and Tha Trademarc, John Cena blew the roof of Gund Arena with a live performance of his hit single, Bad, Bad Man. After stirring the raucous crowd into a frenzy, Jericho came out next as Fozzy was scheduled to perform in the Battle of the Bands. Jericho claimed that due to the biased Cleveland fans, he wouldn't be performing with Fozzy. So instead, the crowd was treated to another Cena performance, but it was Jericho who ended up getting the last laugh, getting his revenge in the main event.

Last week, Edge defeated Kane in a brutal Steel Cage Match. This week, the two bitter enemies went at in a Stretcher Match. Kane endured being choked out, being hit with the steel steps, getting cracked over the head with a Kendo Stick, but in the end it was Edge's trademark briefcase that did the most damage. Unable to contend with both Edge and Lita, Kane was double teamed and rolled up the ramp on the stretcher. Just as he was about to be rolled past the finish line, Kane recovered and grabbed Lita. Edge, however, walloped him with another shot to the head with his brief case to knock him back out and get the win. Kane had lost the battle, but he was out to win the war.

Kane recovered and threw Edge into the video wall on the stage. He then turned his attention to his ex-wife and callously delivered a crushing Tombstone right on the stage. Paramedics rushed to Lita's aid, placed her on another stretcher and loaded her into an ambulance. The Big Red Monster then cackled and asked Lita if she has ever taken a ride on the "highway to hell." A policeman made a last ditch effort to save Lita, but Kane assaulted the officer and drove off with the sirens blaring. Where did Kane take Lita and what did he mean by the highway to hell?

To kick off the show, Kurt Angle made his way to the ring for another round of the Angle Invitational. Kurt had defeated Matt Striker two weeks in a row and was ready to face Cleveland's hometown hero this week. To everybody's surprise, however, Christy Hemme's music hit the arena loudspeakers. Angle seemed excited by the prospect of wrestling with the fiery Diva, but Christy was out to introduce her very special friend -- Eugene! The lovable Superstar made his big RAW return, but Angle was not amused. Angle gave Eugene a cheap shot before things even began and went right to work on the returning Superstar. Angle had things under control in the early goings but Eugene started to hammer away and make a comeback. Angle staved off the attack with an Angle Slam and then went for the Ankle Lock. Showing no signs of rust, Eugene was able to reverse the Ankle Lock attempt, catapulting the Olympic Champion to the outside with about 10 seconds remaining. After hitting the floor hard, Angle was not able to make it back into the ring and Eugene accomplished the unthinkable, winning Angle's gold medal. Angle was absolutely irate after the match as he had just lost his most prized possession.

Plus, Shawn Michaels came to the ring to share some more thoughts on his upcoming match against Hulk Hogan. HBK said that having five-star matches and breaking his back for the fans just isn't enough for him. He likes to come out each and every night and reinvent himself. Michaels said that Hogan is the opposite and has been living off his reputation for 20 years. The Showstopper then said that fans asked for the old HBK, and now they have him. He capped everything off with a question for Hogan -- "Whatcha gonna do Hulk Hogan when the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels won't lay down for you?"

This week's edition of the 2005 RAW Diva Search was highlighted by a Hot Dog Eating Contest. But before the contest got underway, Cameron was sent home. The girls then had one minute to eat as many hot dogs as they could. Leyla and Summer ate themselves to a tie, and then had a 30 second eat-off. Leyla narrowly edged out Summer and won immunity for next week's voting. Who will go home next week? You will decide!

Shelton Benjamin tried to get another shot at Carlito for the Intercontinental Championship, but Bischoff booked him in a Handicap Match against Snitsky & Chris Masters instead. Benjamin put forth a valiant effort, but eventually fell victim to the numbers game and the Master Lock. After the match, Masters refused to break the hold, so the Big Show came down to the ring. Masters wanted no part of RAW's biggest Superstar and the left scene immediately.

Viscera was also in action this week, teaming up with his midget friend, Cloaca. Big Vis and Cloaca took on Antonio of the Heart Throbs and his midget partner Pocket Rocket in a Mixed Tag Match. In the end, Cloaca leapt off of Viscera's back and hit a splash on Antonio for the shocking win.

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