WWE's "Lakers": Straight Up Ballin'!

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May 25, 2009

LOS ANGELES -- After the media whirlwind that surrounded this week's Raw, the WWE Universe answered criticism from the owner of the Denver Nuggets, E. Stan Kroenke, loud and clear Monday night: "Guess what, E. Stan? We don't need you!" Despite having only three days notice to purchase tickets, the STAPLES Center rattled with some of the WWE Universe's most faithful and dedicated admirers. And for that, WWE Universe, we offer our sincere thanks!

John Cena, Batista, United States Champion MVP, Jerry "The King" Lawler & Mr. Kennedy def. WWE Champion Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Big Show & The Miz (PHOTOS | WATCH)
Sporting Denver Nuggets jerseys, Big Show, WWE Champion Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase & The Miz entered the ring to face off against their five opponents, who came to the ring clad in L.A. Lakers tops: John Cena, Batista, United States Champion MVP, Jerry "The King" Lawler & returning Mr. Kennedy.

As Lawler and Rhodes kicked off the battle for their respective teams, alliances were on shaky ground, especially since The World's Largest Athlete seemed determined that he alone would end the match by making Cena tap out. 

The raucous crowd cheered on the returning Mr. Kennedy, who survived an onslaught from WWE's "Nuggets" squad. Finally, the Green Bay Grappler managed to mount an offense and tag in Cena. The Champ then tagged in MVP, who, to an arena of cheers, secured the win for WWE's "Lakers" when he pinned Rhodes.

Goldust & Hornswoggle def. The Brian Kendrick & Festus (PHOTOS)
It looks like the search continues for The Brian Kendrick. The ego-maniac vowed to the Unified WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito & Primo that he will find "The Tag Team Partner" and defeat the brothers to capture the Unified Tag Team Titles. After teaming with Festus and losing to Goldust & Hornswoggle, however, it looks as if Kendrick's quest continues. Especially after Kendrick lambasted Festus post-match only to have the brothers ring the match bell, sending Festus on a tear after his tormentor.

Santino Marella & Mickie James def. Chavo Guerrero & Beth Phoenix; Miss WrestleMania Vickie Guerrero and Santina to battle in a Hog Pen Match at Extreme Rules (PHOTOS | WATCH)
Glamarella, we hardly knew ye. It looks like things are officially finito for Santino and Beth Phoenix after the zesty Italian teamed with Mickie James to take on his former flame and Chavo Guerrero for the right to name the stipulation in a Santina vs. Vickie Guerrero Miss WrestleMania Rematch at Extreme Rules. After Mickie pinned Beth for the win, Santino chose a Hog Pen Match for his "twin sister" and Vickie. Oinks!

Ric Flair called out Randy Orton; Mr. Kennedy announced he will return in the night's 5-on-5 main event (PHOTOS | WATCH)
As a 16-time World Champion, Ric Flair wasn't about to let an arrogant Superstar like WWE Champion Randy Orton get away with sucker-punching him last week after the "The Viper" match with Batista. The "Nature Boy" called out his former Evolution partner, slapping him across the face and insisting that the two fight like men.

The Legend Killer attacked until another Evolution member, Batista, came to break things up. At that point, Orton left the ring and found himself standing before another crowd favorite, Mr. Kennedy. The Green Bay Grappler made a surprise appearance and defended Flair before revealing that he was the fifth mystery member that would compete in the 5-on-5 main event!

Kofi Kingston def. Matt Hardy and William Regal in Triple Threat Match to earn a U.S. Title Match on the next Raw (PHOTOS | WATCH)
With the current United States Champion MVP looking on intently, Kofi Kingston, Matt Hardy and William Regal battled in a Triple Threat Match for an opportunity to take on WWE's Franchise Playa for the title.

Some questioned whether or not Raw General Manager Vickie Guerrero was simply paying back favors by allowing Hardy and Regal into the match in the first place. After all, Hardy had helped Vickie's husband, Edge, prevail at Judgment Day while Regal ensured Guerrero captured the Miss WrestleMania title last week after beating down Santina.

Despite their questionable entry, neither Hardy nor Regal could capitalize as the Jamaican Superstar bested Hardy for the victory and the right to battle for the United States Championship next week on Raw against his friend MVP.

Kelly Kelly def. Divas Champion Maryse by disqualification (PHOTOS | WATCH)
After last week's Diva Battle Royal, in which Divas Champion Maryse sprayed perfume into Mickie James' eyes causing her to lose to Kelly Kelly, the WWE Universe appeared eager to see the Battle of the Blondes. Kelly Kelly showed why she has received kudos recently for her in-ring abilities. Certainly aware that a title cannot change hands on a disqualification, Maryse got herself disqualified and retained the title. An angered Kelly Kelly then knocked down the cunning champion driving her from the ring.

Mr. McMahon confronted Denver Nuggets owner "E. Stan Kroenke"; Superstars scuffled before Raw's 5-on-5 main event  (PHOTOS | WATCH)
Mr. McMahon isn't exactly the forgiving type. Which made a confrontation between the WWE Chairman and one "E. Stan Kroenke" virtually inevitable.

As has been reported extensively throughout the week, the owner of the Denver Nuggets, Kroenke had unceremoniously booted Monday Night Raw from Denver's Pepsi Center in favor of allowing his team to play the Los Angeles Lakers there in an NBA playoff game, despite the fact that WWE had reserved the Pepsi Center last August.

As anyone who is familiar with Mr. McMahon might guess, things didn't go so well for "E. Stan" when he showed up at L.A.'s STAPLES Center to berate the WWE Universe. During his rant, the Chairman showed up and revealed Kroenke's first name: Enos. Mr. McMahon then shoved the blowhard billionaire, leaving him flat against the canvas.

In the wake of Mr. McMahon teaching Kroenke a lesson, The Miz strutted out to reveal his favorite NBA team: The Cleveland Cavaliers. The self-important Superstar went on to repeat his claim of being undefeated against John Cena. The bogus boast brought Cena out to confront Miz, which unleashed a barrage of Superstars who will also competed in Raw's 5-on-5 main event, including Big Show, Jerry "The King" Lawler, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase and Batista.

While the scuffle between these warring sides proved brief, sparks flew later that night when Cena, Batista, MVP, Lawler & a fifth "player" faced off against WWE Champion Randy Orton, Rhodes, DiBiase, Miz & Big Show.

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