Billionaires reveal secrets this Thursday
History is about to get re-written. On a special edition of Raw (which will air on Thursday at 8/7 CT on the USA Network), two billionaires will share the same stage as Donald Trump, the real estate mogul and executive producer of the popular television show The Apprentice, will appear on WWE Chairman Vince McMahon's show, WWE Monday Night Raw.
Like a true businessman, The Donald won't be arriving without an agenda. In a letter to the WWE Chairman -- or Vince, as Trump referred to him -- he claimed that he'd be coming to WWE TV bearing a business proposal that will change McMahon's life forever.
Not to be outdone, Mr. McMahon retorted by saying that Trump would have the privilege of joining a "very special, elite club."
The back-and-forth banter between the two has been filled with as much ambiguity as hostility, and two stirring questions have been left for WWE fans:
What club will Trump supposedly be joining?
What will Mr. Trump's business proposal be?
The commonalities that two billionaires share leave them with a select number of clubs that would happily accept them both as members. Let's explore the possibilities:
They're both proud fathers, self-motivated and prosperous businessmen who epitomize how successful a citizen can be by taking full advantage of a democratic society… so maybe a good fit would be…
Or F.A.A.R.T for short.
As both men have proved, not every business adventure ends up prosperous. Trump has had to declare bankruptcy in order to reshuffle finances, delaying capitol gains on certain investments and McMahon backed the short-lived XFL. So, they both learned a life lesson, hence their next club:
Or simply, B.A.L.L.S.
Agreed, considering them B.A.L.L.S. may be a stretch; however, there's no doubt about it: they're both A.S.S.H.O.L.E.S., or Aristocrats for Self Serving Humanity Operation with Love, Equality and Strength. Even though Trump and McMahon enjoy extravagant lifestyles, they have tried to give back in their own way -- Trump using uses his real estate ventures to build communities and McMahon sends Superstars to Iraq to entertain our fighting military personnel. Until Thursday, though, there's no telling which exclusive club Mr. McMahon is going to induct Trump into.
The Donald's mysterious business proposal is shrouded in as much secrecy as they club he'll supposedly join. Trump proved he can match McMahon's over-the-top theatrics when he dumped thousands of dollars on the WWE fans at the Jan. 29 edition of Raw. So what other business proposals could he bring with him?
It could involve the WWE Divas. They are the Sexiest Women on Television, and Trump's involvement in the Miss American pageant may have sparked an interest to swipe some WWE Divas so he can enter them in next year's competition.
Then again, Trump may want to promote one of his many already existing products. WWE Superstars exude superior athleticism, which no doubt causes massive thirst issues. Perhaps offering an exclusive deal on Trump Ice bottled water that was introduced to consumers during the second season of The Apprentice.
Whatever the proposal is, McMahon should be thoughtful when making his decision. A man of money and former WWE Superstar "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase once brought in a force that tore WWE to shreds. Now, years later, Undertaker is still reeking as much (if not more) havoc that ever. Perhaps Trump has scaled the dwelling of lesser-known inhabitants and has found the next monster to invade WWE?
Whatever these two tycoons have cooked up, it will probably be more outrageous and spectacular than what's been predicted by the pea-brain scribes on WWE.com. With the unlimited resources available to both these nobles, nobody can foretell what will happen. Tune in to Raw at a special time this Thursday at 8/7 CT on the USA Network.