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January 14, 2013

Team Hell No underwent their four-month evaluation with Dr. Shelby

What a difference four months makes. When last we left Dr. Shelby, the good doc was left exasperated on a weekly basis by the continuous bickering of his star patients, Team Hell No. But in their first evaluation of 2013, the mad duo seemed to be finally cured of their anger demons when Shelby sat them down for one final session. And while Kane and Bryan might have twisted the truth a bit when asked to describe their favorite things about each other just to make Shelby happy (depending whom you ask, Kane is quite the dancer and Daniel Bryan dabbles in women’s clothing), it was Shelby's foray into “immersion therapy” that brought the wheels off the proceedings.

To see how Kane and Bryan functioned in the presence of an anger trigger, Shelby summoned Team Rhodes Scholars into the session to help Kane and Bryan find their “happy place.” It didn’t quite work, as Shelby was summarily subjected to a barrage of distasteful comments by the immaculately groomed twosome. To his credit, Shelby didn’t bit when Rhodes and Sandow peppered him with insults (he is an anger management therapist after all), but when Sandow insinuated Team Hell No would be better suited with Dr. Phil as their therapist, the good doc kind of lost it. Channeling his students’ own explosive anger (irony, thy name is Shelby), Dr. Shelby sicced Team Hell No on Team Rhodes Scholars, driving them from his session and causing Kane to declare that he and Bryan had finally found their happy place. And then, they all yelled “YES!”

In our humble, not at all medical opinion, we deem it a breakthrough. Congratulations, Team Hell No.

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