Five things Brock Lesnar can still conquer

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August 23, 2012

Five things Brock Lesnar has yet to accomplish

Well, Brock Lesnar did it. He beat Triple H at SummerSlam just like he said he would, made him tap just like Paul Heyman promised and, now, just like that, poof. Lesnar’s gone again.

He quit, actually, via a venomous Tout to the WWE Universe, Board of Directors and locker room that was recorded and uploaded on Monday night during Raw, only an hour or so after Heyman’s gloating victory speech to the WWE Universe. In the 15-second manifesto, the self-styled “wrecking machine” claimed he had “nothing left to conquer” within the confines of WWE following his savaging of Triple H at the summer classic, and declared he was leaving the squared circle, never to return.

Well, at the risk of our own physical well-being and the litigious proclivities of Heyman, we politely say: au contraire, dear Brock.

True, Lesnar has racked up innumerable victories during his brief, two-part career, holding the Undisputed Championship, being crowned King of the Ring and emerging victorious in the Royal Rumble Match. There’s admittedly not a whole lot that Lesnar hasn’t accomplished, but we here at racked our brains and thought up a few mountains left for the big man to summit. For example:

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