Elijah Experience 05-15-08
May 15, 2008
Greetings from YOUR Paragon of Virtue! I’ve received e-mail after e-mail in regards to my special attraction status that’s been going on for the better first half of 2008. The question is simply, “WTH’s going on with you?” Well I dunno, your guess is as good as mine. But just know that I’m YOUR Guiding Light and in the end I’ll always shine through. Take my word for it, if Elijah said it, it shall be done.
Elijah Experience 05-10-08
May 10, 2008
So here I am, my brother and I, sitting in the laundromat while our clothes are being washed. As I sit, I look at the clothes spinning in the dryer, going round and around and around, trying to think of anything other than the obvious. But my stomach is spinning. My stomach is tightening. My brother's stomach is cramping. What’s going on?
Elijah Experience 05-05-08
May 5, 2008
Today YOUR Guiding Light has no choice but to shine my light down on another unhappy, troubled soul – Mike Adamle. Welcome to my world, the world of sports-entertainment, Michael. A world where 80-year-old women deliver bronco busters and leprechauns do tadpole splashes. My point is, this isn’t that other show that you once announced for.
Elijah Experience 04-24-08
April 24, 2008
Just wanna send some love out to R&B Legend Eddie Levert (The O’Jays and Levert Family) who recently lost his son Sean Levert. He was only 39 years old. Gerald Levert, Eddie’s oldest son, died about a lil' over a year ago at the age of 40. My prayers are with the Levert Family (and anyone else dealing with a loss at this time).
Elijah Experience 04-14-08
April 14, 2008
Greetings to all of My Congregation. Your Host of Hosts and Guiding Light has returned, yet again, to enlighten you and shine some light upon your darkened world, even if it’s to allow you to see that you are the hideous creature(s) that you thought you were.
Elijah Experience 04-10-08
April 10, 2008
Editor’s Note: First thing’s first. Yes, I’m very pissed off right now and for very good reason. Most of you know, as you’ve been writing to me about it. Just keep an eye on YOUR Black Pope... I’ve heard your plea!
Elijah Experience 03-27-08
March 27, 2008
Does anyone remember that classic WrestleMania theme song? You know, the one that Linda McMahon comes out to? Man, I miss that theme song. You really knew that the road to WrestleMania was in full effect when that song would play.
Elijah Experience 03-24-08
March 24, 2008
OK, let’s see where to start this week. Man, so much has happened since last week and I really have no idea where to start, but have no fear, YOUR Guiding Light is here! I will, however, start this by letting it be known that my thoughts and prayers are with my fellow colleague, J.H. I know that he’s a very resilient individual and he will bounce back from these series of unfortunate events.
Elijah Experience 03-17-08
March 17, 2008
Greetings to MY congregation and “HellooooooEvoreebody” to everyone else. As I write this, I sit relaxing and tanning on the beach so that my bronze skin can show up even better on WWEHD. Yeah, right. Me tanning? That’s like me walking around with a shirt on that shows a chick (baby chicken) in front of a magnet, just bloody ridiculous. What’s next? A fedora?
Elijah Experience 02-25-08
February 25, 2008
As I write this, I’m still riding on cloud nine from an “Experience of a Lifetime.” Now, a lot of you know which legendary wrestlers influenced my style of wrestling, one obviously being WWE Hall of Famer “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes, and the other being soon-to-be Hall of Famer “Nature Boy” Ric Flair! Man, just mentioning both of these men in the same sentence gives me goose bumps. I mean, these men are the two most influential reasons for me getting into this profession.
Elijah Experience 01-18-08
January 18, 2008
As I write this my flight has been delayed for almost two hours, I've missed my connecting flight and I'm now in a cab taking a one and a half-hour ride to finally make it to my destination. Did I mention my cab driver is wearing some sort of headwrap and a mustache/beard combo that looks faker than Joan Rivers' face? Just Brutal I tell ya!
Elijah Experience 01-11-08
January 11, 2008
Can you believe it? It's been one whole year since the debut of Elijah Experience on ECW.Com. Being that's this is a new year, it would probably be fitting for me to start off with addressing folks and their new year's resolutions, but instead I'd just have you refer back to the very first Experience in the archives for that.
Elijah Experience 12-19-07
December 19, 2007
Today, your Host of Hosts will do his part to stay impartial and call it like he sees it. So with that being said, all I can say is, "Wow!!" Raw's XV Anniversary was stuff legends are made of. As a matter of fact, many of the Superstars that appeared on that very show were legendary, but who was your favorite? My favorite without a doubt was the first Diva of WWE, Sunny!
Elijah Experience 12-13-07
December 13, 2007
"Life is about timing!" ~ Carl Lewis USA Olympic Gold Medallist
Elijah Experience 11-20-07
November 20, 2007
Today YOUR Host of Hosts makes his long awaited return to ECW.com. I received a ton of emails from a lot of you who showed great concern about YOUR Guiding Light in the wake of his absence, but allow me to assure you that all is well and the Elijah Experience is back in full effect. And for those of you who didn’t show any concern, I condemn you to an eternity in hell! Quote the Black Pope, “Ah Hah……HaaaaahhhH!”
Elijah Experience 10-25-07
October 25, 2007
Hello, mates and mateys! This is your Host of Hosts and I’m writing you from Glasgow, Scotland. By the time you read this, I’ll be in England continuing the global expansion of my congregation. I love it when I get to shine my light upon folks in different countries who aren’t believers of YOUR Guiding Light. It’s all worth it in my eyes, especially considering what I have to go through just to reach out to them.
Elijah Experience 10-18-07
October 18, 2007
Hello, mates and mateys! This is your Host of Hosts and I’m writing you from Glasgow, Scotland. By the time you read this, I’ll be in England continuing the global expansion of my congregation. I love it when I get to shine my light upon folks in different countries who aren’t believers of YOUR Guiding Light. It’s all worth it in my eyes, especially considering what I have to go through just to reach out to them.
Elijah Experience 10-08-07
October 8, 2007
OK, so where do I start? Britney Spears and mom Lyne reunite? Uhm, no! How about something of importance like me letting my congregation know that I slipped on a banana peel that was left in the ring by Mr. McMahon's "little bastard" Hornswoggle, which inadvertently allowed Tommy Dreamer to catch me in his dreaded DDT on ECW on Sci Fi. My team of expert doctors said I'll recover in no time from my ankle sprain.
Elijah Experience 10-02-07
October 2, 2007
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing. ~ Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
Elijah Experience 09-24-07
September 24, 2007
Blowing Smoke? Who's behind questioning the foretold future of Elijah Burke By: Elijah Burke? It was probably some hob-goblet that can't even drink a glass of tequila without pissing all over himself! First off, let me make this very clear, I am the Experienced One! I'm YOUR Host of Hosts and YOUR Guiding Light, The Golden Boy w/ the Silver Tongue, if you will. Know that when I prophesy, it shall come to pass. It may not happen off the bat, but it shall come to pass.
Elijah Experience 09-12-07
September 12, 2007
We all knew the day would come – a day that I long ago prophesied to you, my congregation. A day that would reshape the very foundation of ECW, and no, I’m not talking about when Big Daddy V crashed onto the concrete floor a couple of weeks ago. The day that YOUR Guiding Light is referring to is Unforgiven, where all will witness a prophecy fulfilled. Your Host of Hosts will go into Unforgiven battling all odds and strip Charles Montgomery of the ECW Title.
Elijah Experience 09-05-07
September 5, 2007
As you all probably know by now, Charles Montgomery won the ECW Title. How great is that? It's the perfect scenario. Now that Mr. A-Lister is no longer the champ, I can go after the Punker with intent. Now, don't get me wrong, I've always had reason to step in the ring with the Ol’ Punker even if it was just to give him 4-UP side his straightedged head, but now there's more at stake. My future…YOUR future… the future of ECW, which solely rests on the shoulders of YOUR Paragon of Virtue.
Elijah Experience 08-28-07
August 28, 2007
What in the world is going on with the media nowadays? Have the media truly turned into a fiction based reality show? Is the media exactly what Mr. McMahon claimed it to be a couple of weeks ago on live TV when he referred to it as a glorified version of Entertainment Tonight? I can’t totally say its true but I find myself leaning in direction of my homie, Vince. What drive news stations? Ratings! The same exact thing that drives every other form of entertainment on television.
Elijah Experience 08-20-07
August 6, 2007
There’s a lot that’s been going on with YOUR Host of Hosts, but as always, I’ll put aside me and my personal issues for the enlightenment of my congregation. I mean, if I don’t shine my light upon this dark world, then who will, E.T?
Elijah Experience 08-06-07
August 6, 2007
Your Paragon Of Virtue has successfully returned from touring Thailand, Singapore and Australia. It’s no secret that even the world down under needs YOUR Guiding Light to shine his light upon such a dark nation. I mean, you know me; I’m always on the move to expand my global congregation that is the New Breed!
Elijah Experience 07-26-07
July 26, 2007
Once again, YOUR Host of Hosts is here to be an inspiration to those without hope. No longer must you suffer. No longer must you linger without knowing, because YOUR Guiding Light shall guide you to a place and time where Dreams live on.
Elijah Experience 07-16-07
July 16, 2007
Is it me or has someone other than my congregation been reading The Elijah Experience? Someone like, umm, Balls Mahoney? You can't blame him, can you? I mean, even the biggest LLM's in the bowels of this Earth needs YOUR Guiding Light to shine his light upon them (Balls needs more than my light shined upon him – try some Tide w/Bleach).
Elijah Experience 07-09-07
July 9, 2007
If there’s anything that YOUR Host of Hosts hates more than an overbearing wannabe, it’s an overbearing wannabe that believes his/her own hype! These types of people are a threat to themselves and others because they can become very delusional. You don’t believe me? Allow me to give you an example:
Elijah Experience 06-24-07
June 24, 2007
Today, YOUR Host of Hosts proudly presents to you the return of The Elijah Experience to ECW.com. It’s been a week since the full draft was complete, and I thought I'd wait it out just a little longer to make sure there weren't any "after the draft is over" drafts!
Elijah Experience 06-08-07
June 8, 2007
Ladies and Gentleman: The WWE Draft is upon us. To many, this is a good thing, but to others, it's worrisome.
Elijah Experience 05-28-07
May 28, 2007
Will the "real" American Idol please stand up and take your bow? And for the record, although she won, in my eyes (which the world sees through) it’s not Jordin Sparks, and it’s definitely not Blake (although the kid does have skillz). And for crying out loud, it’s in no way shape or form the CM Punk of American Idol, Sanjaya!
Elijah Experience 05-18-07
May 18, 2007
To follow up on last week's Experience, there's an old saying where I come from, especially in the circles of law enforcement that simply goes, "If you don't want to do the time, don't do the crime." In case ya don't know what I'm referring to, I'm talking about the heiress of the Hilton clan, Paris Hilton! It seems that little Paris got off easier than predicted. Will that be the case with Charles Montgomery Punk? You bet your bologna sandwich that's not the case!!!!!!!
Elijah Experience 05-14-07
May 14, 2007
Elijah Burke says CM Punk and Paris Hilton have something in common: They're destined for hard time.
Elijah Experience 05-05-07
May 5, 2007
Elijah Burke says CM Punk and Brady Quinn have something in common: They're all hype.
Elijah Experience 04-26-07
April 26, 2007
Elijah Burke says CM Punk will "experience" the New Breed's wrath for his actions on ECW on Sci Fi.
Elijah Experience 04-19-07
April 19, 2007
Elijah Burke discusses the touring in Italy and the Imus issue.
Elijah Experience 04-11-07
April 11, 2007
Elijah Burke discusses the events of WrestleMania 23 and its many festivities.
Elijah Experience 03-27-07
March 27, 2007
Elijah Burke discusses WrestleMania 23 and his trip to Mexico with the other ECW Superstars.
Elijah Experience 03-19-07
March 19, 2007
Elijah Burke continues his tale of romance and suspense from the previous week's Experience and compares the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to the ECW Originals.
Elijah Experience 03-09-07
March 9, 2007
In the latest Elijah Experence, Elijah Burke pays tribute to the late Bad News Brown and recalls a Norbit "experience."
Elijah Experience 03-05-07
March 5, 2007
NEWS ALERT!!!! Your Paragon of Virtue has received numerous e-mails in regard to a certain Superstar that is not on the ECW roster, but is claiming to be the next member of the New Breed. Let me be the first to say that those rumors are not true. However, this certain Superstar has been inquiring about the New Breed and sort of trying to plant seeds for a possible future with the New Breed. The New Breed has arrived and we're serving everyone our own dose of reality checks... Hoo-Rah!!!!!
Elijah Experience 02-23-07
February 23, 2007
Isn’t it funny that the shortest month of the year, which is Black History Month, has to be shared with President’s Day? Did you know that a quarter of the presidents our country honors on President’s Day supported slavery? I think it’s a slap in the face of all African-Americans when this country celebrates such a past, especially during the month that’s supposed to be dedicated towards Black History.
Elijah Experience 02-18-07
February 18, 2007
First, let me start off by giving a shout out to my brother Gary, who's celebrated his birthday last week. Now you don't know this, but Gary's a redneck. I mean a true, thoroughbred redneck! Yap, sure is! Now by statistics I shouldn't even acknowledge any person who isn't African-American in this column due to the fact that it's Black History Month, right?
Elijah Experience 02-09-07
February 9, 2007
“Today we are going to pretend like the wrestling world is starting all over again.”-Ric Flair 1997.
Elijah Experience 02-02-07
February 2, 2007
For the millions of fans that have wondered about my well-being, allow me to assure you that YOUR Host of Hosts and YOUR Guiding Light is OK. Thanks for your cards, prayers and your support. And to all the ladies who have sent me pictures of themselves, know that nothing brings a smile to my face like seeing your "headlights" shining ever so brightly, so keep 'em coming!
Elijah Experience 01-26-07
January 26, 2007
Isn't it funny how YOUR Host of Hosts and YOUR Guiding Light was shafted when it comes to the Royal Rumble? I mean, let’s look at the facts here. When I came face to face with the "Inebriated Wonder" Sandman, didn't I defeat him? So why is he in the Royal Rumble and not me?
Elijah Experience 01-19-07
January 19, 2007
Is it me, or does it seems that the rules to a man-to-man fight have somehow changed? Actually, the rules haven't changed; it's been unfair for quite awhile, which is why in this edition of the Experience, YOUR host of hosts and YOUR guiding light is here to shine some light on this issue.
Elijah Experience 01-12-07
January 12, 2007
YOUR host of hosts and YOUR guiding light has returned once again to give you all an “Experience” you’ll never forget. It’s bad enough that YOUR “Paragon of Virtue” is battling an ear infection that has reduced the hearing in his right ear by 70 percent, but he also has to deal with the stupidity of humanity!
Elijah Experience 01-05-07
January 5, 2007
Once again, yours truly is making history. After introducing the "Elijah Experience" to the world via TV, the movement continues because YOUR host of hosts and YOUR guiding light has brought his Experience(s) to ECW.com. (It appears someone's New Years Resolution was to liven up this joint.)