A new Thanksgiving tradition

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November 22, 2006

Many people like to ask a man of my intellect, they say "Matthew," because that is my name, "Matthew, what does a man of your astute rim do on such a festive holiday like Thanksgiving?"

Now, most people think that Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks, a time to be with family, perhaps enjoy some cranberry sauce, and some pumpkin pie.  I really like to analyze or ruminate on the fact that our forefathers - the first people to ever step foot here in the great United States of America - were truly a giving people.

It's the giving part of Thanksgiving that I like to focus on and what I really like -and it's an old tale, so please settle back into your easy chair and listen. It was back when the pilgrims (as you like to call them) found it in their hearts to give warmth and comfort in the form of blankets and sweaters to our Native American friends.

Now, some people say that the pilgrims willingly knew that these blankets were riddled with all forms of vile, disgusting diseases, perhaps early forms of E Coli and/or Ebola. Thus, the Native Americans got very sick. Now, I would like to think that our forefathers would never do such a thing. I mean if I ever offered you a scarf or a handkerchief, do you think that it would be soiled with such infectious vermin? Of course not.

So, this evening, after the tryptophan has kicked in when you've enjoyed your turkey dinner - I prefer dark meat - and you settle into your bed, and you pull your blankets up underneath your chin or chins - depending on who you are - think of how lucky you are that your blankets only contain bedbugs and dust mites and things of this nature and not the diseases the Native American were subjected to, or HPV, which is the Human Papilloma Virus, which is responsible for cervical cancer in one of three women. Get yourself checked out today. That's a Thanksgiving message from me, Matt Striker, your teacher.

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