Extreme assault

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July 11, 2006

Ric Flair accepted Big Show’s challenge, but he wasn’t up to the task of defeating the ECW Champion in an Extreme Rules Match.

10 years ago, Big Show defeated Flair to win the WCW Championship, his first World Championship. Prior to the match, Flair said that he wanted to return the favor and win his record 17th World Championship, promising to eat the champion alive if he made a mistake.

As expected, the massive champion dominated most of the match, making the “Nature Boy” bleed in the process. But as the match wore on, the veteran RAW Superstar found his second wind. Utilizing the Extreme Rules to his advantage, Flair hit the champion with several shots to the groin; with Show down from the testicular carnage, the “Nature Boy” grabbed a barbed-wire baseball bat.

Taking a page from sworn enemy Mick Foley’s playbook, Flair assaulted the champion with the bat and made him bleed. After a pair of trash cans to the head, three swings with a chair sent the champion down into a bed of thumbtacks. It looked like Flair had the advantage, but falling into the piercing thumbtacks only fired up the champion.

Standing up with a vengeance, Show ran through Flair with a vicious clothesline and hit a chokeslam. Not content, the champion nailed Flair with the most recent addition to his repertoire, the Cobra Clutch Backbreaker. He left Flair in the Clutch, and that was all she wrote for the valiant challenger.

After the match, Show tossed Flair violently into the thumbtacks, leaving the challenger a bloody mess as he celebrated. The ECW fans, appreciative of the efforts of the 16-time World Champion, serenaded the “Nature Boy” with a “Thank you Flair” chant as he was helped from the ring.

The man who helped Show become ECW Champion, Paul Heyman, opened the show by coming to the ring surrounded by riot cops. He explained his actions against Rob Van Dam, saying that he didn’t screw RVD…the fans did.

“Please don't blame me for Rob Van Dam’s downfall, be honest and blame yourself,” Heyman said. “You are the reason RVD is no longer ECW Champion, and furthermore, you are the reason I had to suspend him for 30 days. And I did it for RVD's own well being…I tried to reason with RVD and slow him down. You people were driving RVD into an early retirement, forcing him to burn himself out. Your chants made him sacrifice his own body; your chants drove him to the ECW Championship…and drove me to put an end to it all.”

That wasn’t all, however. As Heyman continued, he proclaimed himself to be the messiah, saying that he sacrificed his 10-year friendship with RVD for the good of ECW.

“I promise you that I will be your messiah. I promise you that I will continue to make decisions that benefit no man, woman or child, even my own children,” he spewed. “I will make decisions for the benefit of only ECW. Because as your messiah, I promise you I will lead ECW to the promise land! Forever stamped on the soul of Paul Heyman are the letters E…C…W!”

After his speech, Heyman ran into Tommy Dreamer backstage. Dreamer tried to ask Heyman what was going through his mind, but Heyman said there was no time because Dreamer’s match was next. Dreamer wasn’t happy, and in fact, he wasn’t even dressed for action yet; unfortunately, he had to go to the ring as he was.

When he got there, he found out that his opponent was Test. Dreamer attacked and got the advantage early, but the 6 foot 6 Canadian dominated most of the match. The Innovator of Violence made a comeback and tried the Dreamer Driver, but Test slipped out the back door; he then rolled Dreamer up, getting the three count with his feet on the ropes.

In what was supposed to be the hottest moment of the night, RAW’s Candice Michelle came to Minneapolis to dance with exhibitionist Kelly Kelly. Unfortunately, however, Mike Knox’s jealousy got the best of every other man’s desire to see two half-naked women dance with each other.

Just when it looked like Candice and Kelly might share a moment, Knox came to the stage to cover Kelly up again. But as he tried to whisk her away, The Sandman came to play the knight in shining armor. Knox tried to beg off, but several shots from Sandman’s Singapore cane sent him reeling for cover. After one last swing sent Knox crashing off the stage, Sandman drank a beer on stage as the appreciative crowd showered him with applause.

Sabu was also in action, taking on Justin Credible. Late in the match, Sabu set up a table and sent Credible crashing through it. Unfortunately, the match wasn’t Extreme Rules, so Sabu was disqualified. He won’t have to worry about that on Saturday however, as he will compete in the first-ever Extreme Rules Match in the history of Saturday Night’s Main Event.

For the second week in a row, CM Punk gave the ECW fans another glimpse into his world. This time, Punk explained the meaning of his tattoos before saying that he is a disciplined athlete who craves competing against the very best.

And in a bizarre moment, Ariel the Tarot Card reader appeared once again to announce that the future held blood. It was then revealed that the vampire that’s been hanging out around the ECW arenas was behind her, and in fact had taken a bite out of her neck.

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