Derrick Bateman is all about two things: Chicks and America. We called on his love for the latter to ensure that you, our 'WWE Magazine' readers, have the best Independence Day possible this year.

The Food
"A P.A.T.R.I.O.T—'Participant At True Rudimentary Investigation Of The American Way'—would prepare a meal forged by the means of the original 13 colonies: Hand-sewn crops, fish caught from the Atlantic and wild game. Or, just swing by Costco. Always buy American!"

The Preparation
"Family fireside chats' are held discussing each amendment of the Constitution (especially the 19th, which gave chicks the right to vote). Red Dawn is viewed in solemn observance. Finally, meat is left by the fireplace for Uncle Sam when he comes down the chimney with you presents."

The Locale
"If you can't make it to Mount Rushmore, the Washington Monument or the U.S.S Intrepid with Lex Luger, Yokozuna and the Charlotte Hornet's Scott Burrell, your own personal piece of Americana will suffice, whether it's a backyard, a baseball game or local underground fight club."

The Wardrobe
"A P.A.T.R.I.O.T.'s outfit should be limited to the following: Tank tops, fanny packs, top hats, cowboy boots, army boots, work boots, boots, jeans, jean shorts, Aviator sunglasses and of course, American-flag Zubaz."

To read more of how you should prepare for the fourth, including the perfect soundtrack to you Independence Day, pick-up the July issue of WWE Magazine or  SUBSCRIBE HERE and save 70% off newsstand sale price.