Diva Q&A: AJ Lee on getting out of the "Friend Zone"

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June 11, 2013

So you realized you’re in love with your best female buddy. ’Bout time! Here’s how AJ Lee suggests you transform that friendship into a relationship.

1: Treat her like a lady

Even though you’ve always kidded with your friend, if you want to start a relationship, start complimenting her more and teasing her less. Touch her more affectionately, and stop high-fiving her. “It’s your responsibility as initiator to show her how you’d like to interact, so you need to start behaving more maturely,” says relationship coach Rosalind Sedacca. “Your actions can’t be too extreme, though: Don’t suddenly kiss her out of the blue. Take small steps to make her feel special and adored. Friends don’t do that in the same way that intimate partners do.”

  • AJ says: “To move forward with a girl, there comes a point when a guy has to stop farting and burping in front of her, and instead tell her she looks pretty now and then!”

2: Avoid the group mentality

Slowly ease your way out of your lady love’s circle of friends and enjoy more outings with just the two of you. If you’re too embedded in her life as a friend, she might not want to jeopardize that relationship. Also, you can’t be intimate in a group. “When you’re in groups, everyone falls into certain roles, and it’s hard to just change your dynamic,” says Sedacca. “Being romantic is all about being a twosome. In a group, you can’t make that secret eye contact or try to hold her hand without worrying about whether everyone is watching.”

  • AJ says: “This is a great idea, especially if your girl has a lot of guy friends. Guys always act differently in front of other guys, so if it’s just you and her, you can show her a softer side she hasn’t seen before.”

3: Take her out during dating hours

As much fun as your Saturday hiking trips or Tuesday happy hours are, to move from the cozy friend zone, start inviting your lady out on Friday and Saturday nights. “Take her to places where people go socially to date,” Sedacca says. “You want to imply that you’re looking for something along those lines, and this is a subtle way to move in that direction.”

  • AJ says: “I may not be the girliest girl, but even I know there’s a huge difference between staying in and playing video games on a Sunday afternoon and taking her to Dave & Busters to play games on a Saturday night."
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